Revision Strategies

Revision Strategies shows the process of how I work developed. For each project, I prove three evidences that show what I learned so I totally gave six examples about the process of my work. For each strategy, I showed the “before and after” examples from my work.

AP

Advocacy Project (HCP) is one of the main projects that we should write in this class. The main purposes of this project is to expose you to advocate the solutions of the problem that we ask. In this class, we learned about animal science and wrote the HCP draft. We reviewed the researches, explained how those researches related to an animal issue, asked a philosophical / ethical question and advocated solutions.

Adding more signposts

I forgot to add headers for my problem and solution so I added more signposts to show the audiences what my problems and solutions are.

Before:

After:

Best solution

I wrote three solutions of the extinction of elephants. However, I did not show which one is the best solution so I explained which solution is the best one.

Before:

After:

Adding more evidences

My group member recommended that "It is questionable without data evidence in the first paragraph to conclude elephants continue to be victims with all efforts of reduce trade in ivory", so I added evidence to my first paragraph of solution part.

Before:

After:

HCP

Historical Conversation Project (HCP) is one of the main projects that we should write in this class. "One of the main purposes of this first assignment is to expose you to various topics, arguments, histories, and background knowledge that you need to write an informed advocacy essay; another purpose is to begin the process of learning how to locate, evaluate, select, arrange, and integrate sources into a multi-modal composition." The purpose of HCP is literature review. In this class, we are learning about animal science. We found some researches about the animals that we are interesting in or we want to know. In HCP, we described the researches we found and how those researches related to an animal issue.

Changing the introduction to make it more interesting, detailed, full of facts, statistics, stories, etc.

In my introduction, I introduced some facts about elephants in order to attract the readers.

Here is my introduction:

The final version:

Add more detail about the methodologies

I just explained what the researches are. However, we should introduce the scientist and his/her research and summarize the article when we start to describe the research.

Here the example.

I changed it like this:

making the citations MLA style

For the MLA style, when we already write about author's name, we do not need to write down the name in the brackets.

For example:

So, I deleted the author's name: