The AP

The AP Process, From the Beginning

Before writing the AP draft, I already wrote the problem about the ivory trade and elephants in captivity because I think they are the important problem that cause the extinction of elephants. According to those ideas, I wrote three problems, poaching, elephant abuse, and enslavement.

When I was finding the sources for elephants problem, I first used the keywords like "elephants" and "poaching", and "elephants" and "captivity". However, I did not find the sources that I think is good for me to use so I change it to specific words like "elephants" and "ivory", and "elephants abuse".

I gave an example about Chinese law of banning the sale of ivory so I used the sources about it. I found the article, “China Shuts Down Its Legal Ivory Trade”, as the evidence to prove my example.

First, I just wanted to talk about how human treat elephants by a cruel way so I gave three problems. Then I got the comment from Professor Haas said that I need to focus on one problem and recommend me that I can list all the problems facing elephants that are leading to the extinction of elephants. The problems that I wrote before are the reasons that cause the extinction of elephants so I decided to focus on the problem of the extinction of elephants.

Peer Review

My parter's essay is about the conflict between polar bear and human. After I read my partner's essay, I found that my parter did not discuss more information about how social media is an important tool for activism. However, s/he listed the data of what the Clean Air Act has helped in the United States’ air pollution issue which is very good evidence for the solution.

In my parter's essay, s/he gave the headers for each solutions which make the essay looks clearly. I will also write the headers in my project. In addition, my parter described which solution is the best solution but I did not do that in my project so I will focus on the best solution next time.

Final Draft Revision Strategies

After getting the comment from my classmates, I will first focus on the best solution of the extinction of elephants. I forgot to write about which one is the best solution. However, when I was reading my parter's essay, it reminded me.

Secondly, I will give some evidences to make my essay credibly. For example, I wrote that "It is known that China is the most extensive legal and illegal supplier of ivory, and the manufacture of goods from this material is one of the largest businesses in this country." but I did not add information about it. Therefore, I will add more history background of why china has the most extensive legal and illegal suppliers of ivory.

Then, I will show how social media is an important tool for activism, such as how social media can be effective to prevent trading. I did not get the headers for solutions, so I will write the headers in my final draft revision in order to make my essay looks clearly.

Finally, I will check the whole essay to make sure that it is coherent and grammatical.